


Yesterday, A Wizard Entered New York - A Wizard Named Theseus Scamander

by DecemberLove



Series: Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them Character Drabbles [3]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Original Percival Graves / Theseus Scamander (Friendship), Percival Graves Does Not Want To Deal With This, Protective Theseus Scamander, Shovel Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-14 12:28:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9181678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DecemberLove/pseuds/DecemberLove
Summary: Kind of a follow-up to my other FBAWTFT drabbles, you don't need to have read them to understand this, but it would make more sense if you did.





	1. Chapter 1

**~ Percival Graves ~**

 

"You're planning something." I said to Selwyn, watching her smirk at the piece of parchment in her hand.

She looked up, still smirking: "I am not. I am merely allowing someone else to plan things without interruption."

"Because that's not worrying at all." I rolled my eyes, hearing her laugh as I walked over to where she was lounging on my home-office's couch: "What are we getting up to today?"

 

It was hard to pin-point when Selwyn and I had become a 'we'. It was just all too easy to get along with her; she had a personality that made people want to be around her, to please her, but she'd never turned that aspect of her nature on me. Instead, it had occurred naturally: over time, it had just become an automatic reaction to go to her if I wasn't sleeping. If I was feeling lonely, I turned to her. If I needed help on working out a case, it was Selwyn that I asked. And so it seemed only natural that I returned the favour when she needed help - or, more commonly, was up to something.

Besides, it was a good way of ensuring her plans remained legal.

The less she got arrested, the less questions I had to deal with questions about our friendship.

Several Aurors were already gossiping about us. They didn't dare do it in my presence; they were all too guilty, but I wasn't joking when I told new members of the Auror Division that I knew everything that went on in the Bull Pen. Similarly, Selwyn had her contacts that would tell her when they heard her name mentioned: especially by MACUSA Officials.

The rumours ranged from everything - we were sleeping together, we had been secretly married for years, she had used the Imperius Curse on me, I was making her follow me around as some kind of new punishment for criminals. I wasn't sure what I felt was more insulting. That I was still being seen as weak, nearly two years after Grindelwald had been captured, or that they considered me so abrasive that my mere presence was a punishment. The only time I felt better was when I brought it up to Selwyn, and she outraged over the idea that anyone would think she was a wife someone would want to hide from the world. Or that anyone thought that she'd even _allow_ someone to hide her. The jinx she put on Abernathy's coffee mug the next day almost made up for my bruised ego - whenever he tried to take a sip, the coffee would spill all over his white shirt. It took a week for him to figure out what had happened: and he didn't gossip about us after that. No-one did.

Without a doubt, Selwyn was a person that I knew had my back, that I knew that I could trust. And I knew she trusted me, especially when she didn't hesitate to make space for me on the couch: shifting to show me the letter she'd been reading.

 

I didn't even need to read the letter - I only had to see the signature at the bottom, and I knew what was going to happen: "You can't try and terrify Goldstein. She's in the middle of a very important case, and I don't need her distracted."

"What if I just tell you who's running the illegal duels? Newt's going to be here in less than ten days: me and Theseus need to make sure Tina's prepared for that!" she declared.

I just raised an eyebrow at her: "You know who's running the illegal duels?"

"Not yet. But I could find out in ten minutes."

"And you didn't do this before because...?"

"I can't help out the Auror Division all the time, Percy. You'd all become even more incompetent than you already are."

"Rude, Lizzy. And uncalled for." I responded to her teasing, knowing that she didn't mean a word of it...at least, not about me, anyway: "And of course it's nothing to do with the fact you've been participating in said duels, is it?"

A sly smile curled at the corners of Selwyn's mouth: "I admit nothing."

 

I laughed, feeling Selwyn bump her shoulder against mine in reprimand: only making me laugh harder. Right here was another reason I enjoyed spending so much time with Selwyn; her sense of humour. She loved to laugh, and it was infectious when she did. Of course it was enjoyable, even if I was sometimes known as a miserable bastard.

 

"Go on. Crack the case for Goldstein, then carry on plotting with Theseus. Just, please..." I stopped her as she bolted off of the couch: "...Please try not to cause a riot."

She paused, looked thoughtful, then smiled beatifically: "I make no promises. Good day, Graves."

 

* * *

* * *

* * *

 

A week later, Theseus Scamander appeared via port-key, looking ready for trouble.

Of course, that was how he always looked, but still.

Today, though, his gaze zeroed in on where I was standing: Selwyn waiting back in my office, since theoretically she wasn't supposed to know about where MACUSA did or didn't allow apparition or port-keys. She did, but she wasn't supposed to: and I wanted to at least pretend that I wasn't breaking any rules, lest Picquery start to look into the matter.

I received a faint, almost imperceptible from Theseus, before he was led of by the British Ambassador to MACUSA. He'd make his way to my office when he was ready - and knowing what I did of his relationship with old Stollwort - the British Ambassador - it wouldn't take them long to part ways. The two of them fought like cat and dog, over some feud Stollwort had with Theseus' mother. Selwyn hated the man as well, so naturally I avoided him. The two of them were good friends, and although I was far too old to be engaging in childish 'I-hate-you-because-my-friends-hate-you' behaviour, I trusted their instincts on the matter, and kept a wide berth.

 

Slipping back into the office, I noticed that Selwyn was lounging on my couch, her black pants blending into the black of the furniture. I smirked at the fact she was scrupulously keeping her boots off of the couch, and watched her glare at me when she noticed my smirk: "Are you sure I can't hex Goldstein?"

"Absolutely. The woman is a good Auror - she's well on her way to being the best. I don't need reprobates like you and Scamander screwing that up."

A put-upon sigh: "I'm sure Theseus would back me up."

"I'm sure Theseus would. But he handed in his Auror badge when he decided to come on holiday to the States, and so both of you answer to me for the next week."

"Ooh, Percy," Selwyn purred teasingly: "Does this mean I have to call you 'sir'?"

I ignored her flirting, saved by the door banging open to reveal my favourite red-headed Auror: "Percy! 'Lizbeth! Have you missed me?"

"No."

"Not at all."

Theseus glared at us, but shut the door behind him and walked over until he could lean in conspiratorially: "So, who's this Yank Auror we're going to be hexing?"

"No-one! There will be no hexing!" I exclaimed for what felt like the hundredth time: "Shovel-talk only! I swear to God..."

 

The two Brits shared a long-suffering look, but didn't ask to hex Goldstein again. Of course, that didn't mean they wouldn't do so; both of them were firm believers in the _'better to ask for forgiveness than permission'_ philosophy. They'd do whatever they wanted, I'd just have to be on my guard when they went to meet with Goldstein.

But of course, they knew that I was going to that. And the time came for them to talk to Goldstein, over coffee in the canteen, Selwyn suddenly dragged me away on the pretext of needing help with something. By the time we got back, Theseus was smugly sipping at his cup of tea, looking like the cat who got the cream, while poor Goldstein looked shell-shocked - like a mouse in front of the aforementioned cat. And, dear God, it wasn't over yet. Selwyn didn't even sit down: merely dragged Goldstein off to the lady's rooms so she could 'powder her nose'.

...Poor, _poor_ Goldstein.

 

Groaning in abject misery, I slumped into the chair: head in my hands: "I've just lost my best Auror, haven't I?"

"Hmm?" Theseus mused, feigning innocence: "Oh, no. Of course not."

I sent him a disbelieving look. I didn't need to say anything else.

"You may just get a very interesting incident report. I've got a feeling she's going to tell on me to Stollwort." he shrugged: "She seems like that type."

 

I sighed again.

God only knew where this was going to end.

 

* * *

* * *

* * *

 

"The incident report you asked for, sir." Abernathy said, smirking in the doorway.

I silently _Accio_ 'd it from his hand, mirroring his smirk: "Thank you. Please close the door on your way out."

 

As soon as the door was shut - and locked - I opened the brown folder that, thanks to Goldstein herself, now held all the details of what was now known as _'The Great Scamander Incident of 1927'_. And, as with all of Goldstein's reports, it was not without drama:

 

_'Yesterday, A Wizard Entered New York - A Wizard Named Theseus Scamander...'_


	2. Bonus Scenes - The Shovel Talks!

**~ Tina Goldstein ~**

 

There was no doubting the man sitting opposite me at the canteen table was related to Newt Scamander.

He had the same red hair: even if his was slicked back, his curls tamed. They shared the same unusual warm, golden-green colour. And they had the same mouth...except where Newt's smile was small and shy (utterly adorable), this man's was more of a self-confident smirk. And why shouldn't it be? This was Theseus Scamander: the war hero, celebrated Auror, previously one of the most eligible bachelors in the Wizarding World, according to the gossip rags Queenie insisted upon reading. He had every right to smirk if that was what he wanted to do.

...I just wished that the smirk wasn't directed at me.

Because whatever this was, it wasn't going to end well. It never was when people smirked like that. That was very much a _'I-know-something-that-you-don't-and-it's-not-going-to-end-well-for-you'_ smirk. Usually it was used by criminal gangs who didn't know that they were surrounded, and it didn't bother me. Now, though, I was without back-up, and squaring up to one of the most skilled Wizards in the Western World. Just when Selwyn had stolen Graves.

 

Oh my God, I am going to die right here, right now...

 

"So, Tina, wasn't it?" he asked suddenly, still wearing that smirk.

"Um, yes, sir. Tina Goldstein." I murmured.

The smirk widened dangerously: "No need to be so formal, Tina dear. I hear you're rather enthralled with my baby brother, after all. My precious, naïve, not at all used to human interactions - especially those of a romantic nature - baby brother."

 

And there it was.

Theseus Scamander wanted to warn me away from Newt.

 

"Sir, if I may - "

"You may not." came the abrupt response, Scamander holding up a hand to interrupt me: "I have a limited window of opportunity here, Goldstein, and if you don't mind I have rather a lot to say. Starting with the obvious...you hurt my brother, you die. And, going into more detail: if you hurt my brother, emotionally or physically, or your actions lead to him being harmed, if any of your friends harm him, if the pair of you are wondering innocently around New York and he takes off after one of his Creatures - you die a slow and agonisingly painful death, because Newt is possibly the only member of my family I can stand for more than a week, and I will be very, very upset should any harm befall him when I am an ocean away and unable to assist. Do I make myself clear?"

"Utterly, sir."

"Good. Now, since that's out of the way, do you like my brother?"

"Very much. He's..." I trailed off slightly: "...He's unlike anyone else I've ever met. He's just so brave and stubborn and loyal and kind...he's amazing."

Scamander's hard expression softened ever-so-slightly: "Yes, he is. And a lot of people don't see that." there was a slight pause, and then a quiet: "...I'm glad you do, Miss Goldstein."

I smiled, knowing that I'd won him over: for now, at least: "Please, call me Tina."

"Theseus. That should scare Newt when he arrives, if we're on first name basis." Theseus grinned wildly, the typical sibling behaviour making me feel a little more relaxed...until Theseus' next statement: "And don't think it's over yet, Tina. I'm not the only family Newt has in New York."

"Who...?" I asked, trailing off when I saw the only other British Witch or Wizard in New York that Theseus could be talking about (given the smirk on his face) heading back over here, her own smirk painted on her face: "Oh, no."

"Oh, yes."

 

Graves sat back down, glaring darkly at Theseus - _he knew what the two of them had been planning, the sneak!_ \- but Selwyn simply smiled at me, the expression sacherine sweet...and terrifying.

 

"Goldstein - I need to go use the ladies."

 

The fact that I was required to join her didn't need to be said.

I stood and followed her out of the canteen, my head ducked low. Part of me actually just couldn't believe that _Selwyn_ was related to _Newt Scamander._ Theseus...yes, I could see that...but Newt? There were almost nothing alike, except for all the law breaking - and Newt did that for a cause! Selwyn did it for entertainment. But then again, Newt had mentioned a sister-figure who had taught him all he needed to know when it came to getting out of scrapes with the law, and I supposed that I wasn't surprised that he'd learned from her. She was, after all, one of the hardest people to charge with an offence I'd ever had the misfortune of meeting.

And now I was stuck in the green-tiled ladies room of MACUSA with her. Somewhat fearing for my health.

 

"So, Newt." Selwyn started as she touched up her eye make-up: "My little brother in law. You like him."

"I do. I think he's amazing." I smiled.

Selwyn was not impressed: "And I bet that, with that line, you won Theseus over, didn't you?"

"I - "

Selwyn arched a brow at me, eyes disinterested: "I don't actually care about your answer, Goldstein. And you're not going to impress me just by complimenting Newt: empty compliments mean nothing, what matters is how I see you _treat_ Newt. Because, Goldstein, I haven't really shown it in New York, but I can be very, very cruel, and I know a lot of dark magic. If Newt ever comes to me saying you've upset him - and if you do, he will, because he always comes to me on the few occasions he's had problems with women - I will - "

"Make sure I don't live long enough to regret it?" I interrupted flippantly, rolling my eyes.

Selwyn's smile was slow, languorous but dark: "Oh no, darling. You will live to regret it. If you could call what I make your existence a life."

 

Somehow, she'd managed to be more scary than Theseus. I was impressed.

With all his burning anger, I had expected Theseus to be the bigger threat. Especially when I had expected him to be the only one who cared. But somehow Selwyn had him beat with her dark threat, along with the fact I knew that she could back that threat up, and a sneaking suspicion that Graves wouldn't stop her, not when those two were clearly thick as thieves these days. _God help us all_...

 

"Am I clear, Goldstein?" came the once again sweet voice.

"Crystal." I nodded grimly.

"Good. Now, lets go join the boys again." Selwyn smiled: "Graves did say that if I scarred you too mich he wouldn't be happy with me."

I tilted my head: "Why does that matter? Do you like Graves as mich as I like Newt?"

"We're not talking about me, are we Goldstein?" Selwyn smirked: "Besides, even if you told Graves what you think to be true...well, I'd welcome it. So maybe if you could drop it into conversation...I'll try no to do anything illegal for a week." 

 

_And that is probably the best I'm going to get out of her._

 

With that in mind, I smiled, nodded, and proceeded Selwyn out of the ladies room: certain of two things. One, at some point Graves and Selwyn needed to get together.

And, two...even if I had wanted to hurt Newt...there was absolutely _no_ way on God's green Earth that I was going to do so now. He was protected by two of the scariest people I've ever met.

 

"Goldstein," Graves said as we sat back down: "Just because he helped avert a national - possibly international - disaster...try to keep Scamander happy, won't you?"

 

 _Make that_ three _of the scariest people I've ever met._


End file.
